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It’s been a while…

Alas, after months have passed with the intention of contributing to my blog, I have finally returned with a general update. Everyone’s world has been turned upside down with the pandemic. Previously, my main source of income came from teaching private music lessons. However, transitioning to virtual lessons has been very tough for my studio and me. Understandably, this has been an unsettling time for us all, and an even more distressing one for my students, who have to adapt to these changes while trying to get an education the best way they possibly can. But this has also been a wake-up call for my approach to teaching and the system that I have to work with. Admittedly, being based in New York, a majority of my lessons have been centered around preparing my students for the NYSSMA solo exam, which comes every Spring. I have my qualms about the test, but unfortunately, it is entrenched in the school music culture, which in turn affects the expectations that parents have for their kid’s private lessons (a focus on earning a high exam score, going up a level every year, etc.). Well, the exam was cancelled this year and the need for my lessons disappeared. This, on top of everyone’s overall necessity to adjust to a new normal, has left me with an indefinite hiatus from my teaching duties. This has been a setback, but it has taught me that moving forward I must, above all, nurture my students’ love for their instrument.

What have I been up to in the meantime? I’ve been teaching Zumba, virtually on Zoom. Zumba has been my side gig for 9 years, and I was teaching it once a week, pre-pandemic. Now, I give classes online 3 times a week, and have enjoyed connecting with others through this medium. I have also been cooking and baking a lot more than usual. With all that is happening in today’s society, I have been partaking in activism through social media. Music wise, I scored the short animation “Petal Snow,” that premiered back in April, and I was the Guest Artist for the composition workshop in the inaugural Golden Williams Summer Strings camp that occurred in July. I will cover these things in more detail in the future on my blog.

I’m just trying to survive, to be honest. I’ve been having a tough time with tapping into my creative and musical side, and I’m not sure what direction I should go in or what I should focus on. It’s hard to feel confident in what I do when the future is so unclear, and it has put me into a bit of a funk. It’s been rather lonely to deal with these struggles, since I haven’t been able to connect with anyone else that is going through a similar hardship. I just hope I can find my voice again. Sharing it brings me one step closer to doing so.